Graffiti miracle

Whatever

Macaulay Culkin is dead?

FACEBOOK SADISTS

Deer Park Water

Dear Deer Park Water,

I just wanted to inform you that, while you are likely paying good money to have your ads played on AMC.com, they are choppy and unwatchable (see link below).

The actual television program seems to adjust to slower internet connections by displaying in a lower quality resolution.  Your ad, on the other hand, does not and at can at times take up to five minutes to play through to the end.  Instead of being amused by the quirky ad, the viewer is annoyed by the slow progression.

Sincerely,

This is a headline?

President Obama

President Obama,

Please do not send more troops to Syria.  The American people do not support this.

Sincerely,

Why would Sesame Street allow this?

"Maybe we can sell it on quantity"

Zoo: We blame the victim

Look out crooks!

Or perhaps secretly detained?

Sentanced to depth

More like the week in 30 photoshops

So... he warned everyone?

Feeling the Bern

Satisfaction Guaranteed

How do you think he knew?

CVS

Larry J Merlo, CEO

CVS

One CVS Drive

Woonsocket RI  02895

Dear Mr. Merlo,

I am writing regarding a product of yours called Golden Emblem Fruit & Nut Trail Mix, which stinks.  I made the grave misfortune of purchasing two bags of it, thinking it would be tasty as a great majority of trail mixes are.  Not the case!  Something went wrong in the mix here as this stuff is sickeningly sweet and lacks the trail mix standard saltiness to balance it out.  One of the super sweet dried fruits really kicks this thing in the genitals.  Next time I will look elsewhere for trail mix.  Otherwise a reasonably satisfied customer of CVS.

Respectfully,

Amazon.com

Jeff Bezos, CEO

Amazon.com Inc

410 Terry Ave North

Seattle, WA 98109

Dear Mr. Bezos,

I am writing regarding your recent attempt to charge me $8.02 shipping and handling for a car charger.  Nice try!  I ordered it from another seller who charged twice as much for the product but offered free shipping.  Sorry, Amazon.  Obviously this is too much to charge for shipping as books which are twice the size and weight ship for only $3.99.  But I needn’t tell you that as this is clearly a bait-and-switch which pulls people in with the low item cost.  Isn’t Amazon better than this kind of hucksterism?  

Sincerely,

Lovable?

Because you never know when Abby Wambach might hit someone with a car?

Counter opinion: There is more land

Hi-Line Snack and Vending

Manager

Hi-Line Snack and Vending

4900 E. Railhead Ave

Flagstaff, AZ 86004

Dear Hi-Line Snack and Vending,

Greetings from Pennsylvania.  My wife and I were recently married and visited the great state of Arizona in March of this year.  On March 23rd, we visited Wupatki National Monument and had the misfortune of encountering your vending machine # 9921468.  While the machine did dispense a delicious treat, it ate a $20 bill and did not produce any change.  Please send $20 or $20 worth of snacks to @###########@@#$%%^%$##.

Your swift assistance in this matter is appreciated.

Sincerely,

D: I have to because everyone in front of me has

Wonder if they use this as a selling point

@SenSanders

Routine Sadism

NOT The Onion?